death midwifery

i just found this website

wow.

after i completed my OB rotation in nursing school i decided i didn't want to be a midwife anymore. the area of nursing that i felt most drawn to after that decision was hospice.

there doesn't seem to be much of a difference between the sacred spaces that birth and death create. not to me.




my grandfather died a most enviable death. he was in a free-standing hospice center on a mountain in west virginia. it was a very warm summer day, his room painted yellow with stripes of sunshine on the walls. quiet. warm. private. a man with a guitar was singing hymns softly with a gentle voice, unafraid. he was playing "just a closer walk with thee" in my grandfather's quiet room just as he passed quietly on.

i birthed my son on a quiet, rainy october evening just as the sun went down. a lamp was lit. the stove was hot with pots of boiling water hissing gently. he slipped out of me, the water gently rippling and splashing against the sides of the tub as he swam out of his warm nest into waiting arms. the rain made glittering sounds on the metal roof.




both birth and death are transitions that require everyone present to let go. trust. believe. be present.

stark separations of life's continuum create unneccesary divisions in the study and practice of healthcare. what's the difference in what a midwife and a "death midwife" does, really? yes. there are major differences, but do there need to be?

midwives ease the transition. they bless the transitioners. they help create and hold the necessary sacred space.

i think midwives can learn a lot from "death midwives."

i want to be both.