Sunday, June 15, 2008

healing race

racism hurts.

i was reading "I Can Fix It!" by damali ayo tonight. realizing how often i have let racist comments that friends or coworkers have made slide for my own "safety." because i didn't want to deal with the consequences of being subversive. how i have held keeping myself out of my imagined danger as more important than creating a truly safe space for my friends and coworkers of color.

i regret that.

there is an ongoing situation of a white person in my community saying outright racist comments on a regular basis. i said my piece in a mild way to him once. but i was not truly assertive. i didn't tell him how it made me feel when he said those hurtful things. i regret this. i am wondering how to deal with this now, after the fact, in a helpful and assertive way.

my new boss has siad some vaguely racist things in the few weeks that she's had the job. i didn't say anything about it. the things she said would not be seen as racist to anyone that i work with. the statement that i remember was about how she's "sure not a Muslim" or something like that.

other white coworkers have made racist comments about barack obama. or asked the one black man with which i work inappropriate questions about "being black." another lady saw that i was reading killing rage by bell hooks and said, "oh. what class is that for?" when i told her i was reading it for myself she seemed utterly confused.

how do you deal with racism in your community in a helpful and healing way?

i need help figuring out how to get rid of this regret by taking action.

1 comment:

Lauren said...

i wrote a song about a friend who told a horrible racist joke while we were at another friends house. we all laughed, even thought we knew it was so fucked up. it was as if the laughter was the outlet of our disgust. we were laughing so hard, looking at each other, being shocked that our friend would say that. she was laughing for real, but it was more of a laugh of embarassment than of agreement. that day seriously altered our friendship. i hope this laughter didnt let her know that we thought it was funny, but that we were too embarassed and shocked to react a different way. im embarassed for my laughter and for her telling the joke.