so i'm getting in deep now. waay over my head.
i am going back to school. maybe not right now, but soon. i feel it will be very soon.
i'm just so scared.
i trust birth. these few months at my job in L&D i have redisvovered for the first time since the birth of my son that birth works, especially when unhindered. bodies know how to birth and babies know how to be born. intervention is dangerous. starting with leaving the home, with harsh and harshly spoken words, with drugs, and instruments, intervention leaves its scars in women's and babies' bodies, minds, and spirits.
i've been so into unassisted childbirth lately. it's a lovely way of doing things. i think for most healthy women who are into it, it is the safest/best option. intervention is dangerous. i trust bodies and babies more than i trust healthcare providers.
this is why it's so scary to think about going back to school. i'm not totally convinced right now that i will want to assist birthing women primarily. i am just so into the midwifery model of well-women's care as it relates to all well-people. i want to care for people, especially women, in all ages and aspects of life. but i also wonder if going to school for nurse-midwifery will help me to encourage clients to trust birth.
healthcare is in a sad state. people trust healthcare providers more than they do themselves. they want someone (especially if that person is in a white coat) to give them a cure, an answer, a fact, a truth.
but i feel like by being a healthcare provider that trusts birth, trusts life, nature, death, and the human body, one can spread these messages to her clients. by being a healthcare provider that works cooperatively with other disciplines, uses the least-interventive treatments available, and provides extensive client education to care for the well person, one would not only be living and practicing the research-proven way, but she'd also be providing the best possible care for her clients.
nurse-midwives have at least some autonomy. oh, autonomy. witnessing MDs and OBs do things that are proven to be unsafe (suctioning all babies as soon as their faces stick out, frequent induction, elective cesarean, vacuum extraction, unnecessary episiotomy, etc.) over and over again, seeing them wonder why the babies are fussy, why they won't nurse, why the moms are depressed...it tears me down.
research has proven that birth works. time has proven that birth works. other industrialized nations' experiences have proven that birth works. homebirth midwives have proven it. unassisted childbirth folks have proven it. why can't these OBs, medwives, and family practice physicians, with all their elite schooling and letters behind their names just try it. once. or twice. maybe forever.
but anyway, maybe it's ego-driven mania or serious delusion, but i think maybe i can make a difference. maybe a bigger difference with some higher education. i dunno. maybe it's at least worth a try.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
the gentrification of midwifery
so if you didn't know yet, the CNM is the new it-girl on the blogosphere.
she's educated, totally hip, and yet still so adorably nurse-y.
there's manymany of these ladies here and they're all going thru hell trying to pass that big ole test with a capital B.
i think it's nice. and heart-warming (maybe i'll be one of them one day!), but i find it also very very disturbing.
not disturbing because they exist. i think it's great. they can provide care to a more diverse group of people than most direct-entry midwives can, accept insurance claims, and take higher risk mamas.
i find it disturbing that some people in the midwifery community think it is necessary to be a CNM to be a safe midwife. this is simply not true. i think we are taking some serious steps backwards. being a nurse doesn't make you a safer midwife. nor does going to grad school.
experience makes a midwife. this is a time-tested reality. i don't give a fuck what letters are behind your name.
there is something horribly wrong going on if the new model of midwifery care only extends to midwives that also happen to be nurses. birth is normal. in the vast majority of cases, the birthing family doesn't need anyone around at all. in the veryvery small amount of cases in which something bad happens that CAN be remedied by someone other than the birthing family, EXPERIENCE is what will help that person know what to do and help them to remedy it in a safe and effective way. no amount of letters behind their names, years of schooling, schmoozing, and assimilating they've completed will help them in that situation.
and again, don't get me wrong. i think CNMs get a comparatively good amount of supervised experience before they are "allowed" to set off on their own. CPMs don't require nearly the same amount of apprenticeship. but to judge a midwife by the letters (or lack thereof) behind her name is to put your faith in a patriarchal system that is bound to fail.
our mothers' grandmothers and their grandmothers before them knew birth and they have given us the gift of that knowledge. they hid it deep within the darkest, safest, privatest place they knew of in the only place it can never be stolen by men or power or greed. it is in our souls and spirits, in our hind-brains and our DNA.
we don't need any patriarchal institutional hierarchical system to tell us how to give birth, where to give birth or with whom to give birth. we don't need any credentials or anyone with credentials to tell us. we don't need any JCAHO standards guiding our paths.
just trust. and the experience of the generations of grandmother-midwives who came before us.
i was worried that working in L&D would make me more scared of homebirth or unhindered birth. on the contrary, it has absolutely validated all of my worst fears.
she's educated, totally hip, and yet still so adorably nurse-y.
there's manymany of these ladies here and they're all going thru hell trying to pass that big ole test with a capital B.
i think it's nice. and heart-warming (maybe i'll be one of them one day!), but i find it also very very disturbing.
not disturbing because they exist. i think it's great. they can provide care to a more diverse group of people than most direct-entry midwives can, accept insurance claims, and take higher risk mamas.
i find it disturbing that some people in the midwifery community think it is necessary to be a CNM to be a safe midwife. this is simply not true. i think we are taking some serious steps backwards. being a nurse doesn't make you a safer midwife. nor does going to grad school.
experience makes a midwife. this is a time-tested reality. i don't give a fuck what letters are behind your name.
there is something horribly wrong going on if the new model of midwifery care only extends to midwives that also happen to be nurses. birth is normal. in the vast majority of cases, the birthing family doesn't need anyone around at all. in the veryvery small amount of cases in which something bad happens that CAN be remedied by someone other than the birthing family, EXPERIENCE is what will help that person know what to do and help them to remedy it in a safe and effective way. no amount of letters behind their names, years of schooling, schmoozing, and assimilating they've completed will help them in that situation.
and again, don't get me wrong. i think CNMs get a comparatively good amount of supervised experience before they are "allowed" to set off on their own. CPMs don't require nearly the same amount of apprenticeship. but to judge a midwife by the letters (or lack thereof) behind her name is to put your faith in a patriarchal system that is bound to fail.
our mothers' grandmothers and their grandmothers before them knew birth and they have given us the gift of that knowledge. they hid it deep within the darkest, safest, privatest place they knew of in the only place it can never be stolen by men or power or greed. it is in our souls and spirits, in our hind-brains and our DNA.
we don't need any patriarchal institutional hierarchical system to tell us how to give birth, where to give birth or with whom to give birth. we don't need any credentials or anyone with credentials to tell us. we don't need any JCAHO standards guiding our paths.
just trust. and the experience of the generations of grandmother-midwives who came before us.
i was worried that working in L&D would make me more scared of homebirth or unhindered birth. on the contrary, it has absolutely validated all of my worst fears.
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